Baring Myself.
So far, I’ve been enjoying my 50’s
I started the decade with a bang, throwing an epic birthday party for myself, reconnecting with old friends…I got a motorcycle… ( I always wanted one) his name is Prince (he’s purple)
THAT was a really good decision, even though I was accused of having a midlife crisis. This year I lost some weight (thanks COVID-19) and got into the best shape I’ve been in for 20 years.
Now while all of that is fantastic and I feel great physically, I've realized that there are some things that I need to work on inside …some aspects of my life that I need to make peace with so I can go forward, keep growing and live my best life.
Now anyone that knows me (or has met me)would say that I exude confidence and inner strength, that I’m very social and love an energetic conversation( politics/sex/religion, bring it on!)…
I am all of those things but I’m also someone who has lacked self confidence ( my entire adult life) when it comes to putting myself on the line, defending my dreams and aspirations.
There are various reasons (we all have baggage, right?) …I decided that I wanted to look into that, to understand that about myself so I have no regrets when it’s time for me to leave this plane.
So I’ve started seeing a shrink… (I’ve had my mind blown every session with revelations !) and as a treat to myself I booked a photo shoot where (as you can see), I posed in various stages of nudity.
This means a lot to me, I feel I’m baring myself, I am putting aside all of my insecurities that I’ve had my entire life about the way that I look and how I present myself to the world at large .
This is me being unapologetic, this is me loving every aspect of my body that has not let me down. This is me stepping out of my comfort zone… claiming my space. What has been interesting in this experience it’s not only my reaction to looking at my own images but the reaction of people that are close to me.
Some are making it about themselves and are struggling with my decision to do this, some are being wholeheartedly supportive and cheering in my section. The negative responses have made me think twice about posting this photograph… made me ask myself why I would put myself out for criticism. I can only say that in my entire life I have been told to stand in the back of the room…people trying to impose their will on me, trying to convince me to make myself smaller.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to stand in the back of the room anymore, I’ve decided that I’m gonna claim my space (just like everybody else is entitled to) I’ve decided I’m gonna move through this life, the rest of my life, doing what I see fit and not worrying about what everyone else thinks.
This is me. This is what happens when you don’t put baby in a corner. I claim this 100% with love and respect that I would give anyone else…
I’m gonna give that to me now.
So, my point is that you don’t have to deny yourself to prove that you’re worthy. You are already there, already the best version of yourself right now. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, this is your life. No regrets.